Motivation

I've read so many places that one of the keys to successful weight loss is motivation. People who write down and focus on the reasons why they want to lose weight are more likely to achieve their goals and keep themselves in shape. And sure enough, when I sat down to make a list of the reasons I want to lose weight and get in shape, I put together this together fairly quickly:

To be more attractive to Frank. I'm sure everyone who knows what a feminist I am are picking up their jaws off the floor, but hear me out on this one. Frank has always loved me through thick and thin -- literally -- and has never made a peep about my size or made me feel anything but completely attractive and appealing. I am the one who is constantly disagreeing with him, belittling myself and feeling self-conscious because of my weight to the point where I'm afraid that it would affect our relationship. I would love to be able to gain my confidence back and look and feel attractive for him.

To have a healthy pregnancy. As most of you know, Frank and I would like to start a family this year. However, there were recently a whole slew of articles released discussing the dangers of obesity during pregnancy. Obese women are more likely to difficult pregnancies with increased instances of gestational diabetes and preeclampsia, and are also at a higher risk to have babies with certain birth defects like spina bifida, heart problems and cleft palate. And on top of that, obese women are also 28% less likely to become pregnant in the first place! In case it wasn't clear enough before, I definitely need to focus on losing weight before I even try to become pregnant for my sake and the baby's sake.

To be able to buy clothes that fit and look good. I'll admit it, I've never been much for fashion, but who would be when going clothes shopping is enough to make you feel terrible about yourself? I want to be able to walk into a store knowing that they'll have my size. I want to try an outfit on knowing it will look great -- not bulge out in weird ways or strain at the seams when I sit down.

To keep my good health. This is a game a lot of overweight people play in their 20's -- I may be obese, but I'm healthy. My blood pressure is fine. I don't have any diseases. I feel okay. But in the end, you always lose this game and with bad consequences. I have diabetes on both sides of my family, including my father who was recently diagnosed and has since lost over 70 pounds. I know that at the rate things are going, it is coming for me too. Instead of ignoring it, I need to do something to cut it off before it even gets started. I want to add years to my life and actually be around to enjoy it!

So those are my main reasons for wanting to achieve the health side of my goals. But when I tried to come up with a similar list for why I want to finish my novel, I found the reasons to be a little more elusive. After some thought, here's what I came up with:

To do something for me. I've been writing all my life, since I was old enough to draw pictures and dictate stories to my parents, but never as little as I have recently. Which is understandable -- in the last four years there have been a lot of changes. The transition from being a bachelorette to being part of a team, dropping out of grad school, buying a house, starting a career path instead of just holding down a job -- all things that are normal for your twenties but that start to eat up a lot more of your time and energy. Somewhere along the way I stopped keeping a journal, which I had done most of my life. I stopped writing little stories, poems and jotting down ideas on scrap pieces of paper. I lost that private part of myself that I had nurtured and guarded for years, that part that was the essence of me. Finishing this novel and writing regularly will get that part back.

To make me think more. There is nothing more exciting and gratifying than that moment when you suddenly realize what happens next. Nothing even comes close. But on the flip side, there is nothing more agonizing than trying to understand where the story is going. For me, the only way to string together the plot is with lots of hard thought. I go for long walks to think about my characters, how they are feeling, what they want While in the shower, I ask what I want the story to say, what is the take home message to the readers? As I sit in a boring meeting at work and work out the inconsistencies and plot holes in the story. I dream about worlds I've created. In short, my mind is getting an amazing workout. It's all too easy to be a mental loafer, grinding out permits at work, browsing the web, letting the television entertain me. I need to have my brain actively and creatively engaging something.

To hone my craft. Practice makes perfect, like they say. This is especially true with writing. Writing every day will help me develop a stronger voice and a more consistent tone, teach me to shut up my inner editor and allow me to make the mistakes that I need to make in order to grow as a writer.