Day one with no sweets went surprisingly smoothly. It helped that it was a long day at work and I was a single parent for the night, so there wasn't a lot of time to mess up. I also started logging my calories on Livestrong again, and joined a 90 Day Challenge group on a certain beloved social news site that I frequent, so I think I may finally be pulling myself up out of the quagmire of fatness that I've wallowed into. Here's hoping!
I want to thank you, readers, for your comments on my "Diet" blog. Some kind of sweeter flavored tea is a really good idea, since it fills you up and takes some time to drink. Even more helpful now that I'm cutting out carby sweets! Also, the idea of re-structuring my meals is something that really makes a lot of sense to me. I've been thinking about a lot the last couple of days. I'm still going to have to sit down and figure out calorie-wise the best way I can do that. I really like the late morning oatmeal combined with a later lunch idea, so once I finally go grocery shopping, I'd like to start that. And yes, it is hard to clear my house of readily available snacks the way that Frank is, but I'm going to keep working it ... even if it does come down to a padlock! But I'm hoping I can exercise more self-restraint than that. Maybe.
Today, I've been thinking about the other half of that magical weight loss formula of "Diet and Exercise." Exercise has been such a problem for me lately. For starters, I'm by far the most out of shape I've ever been in my entire life. My body is just not capable of doing much at all in terms of physical activity now. My knees ache sometimes and I know it's just because I have the extra weight. My poor body is protesting and I need to do something to get it functioning properly again!
The trouble has been fitting in workouts. Now, obviously some of it is me making excuses, but a lot of it is also legitimate scheduling issues. The exercise plan that I was most loyal to was using my lunch hour to go for a long walk (~3 miles) along the Hudson River. Unfortunately, since I'm still pumping breast milk three times per day, that eats up my lunch hour and then some. Hopefully I'll be able to start my walks again by spring, but I really need to get started before then. Work days are honestly shot -- I get up early and run around getting the baby fed, dressed and packed up for the baby sitter, get the dogs fed and let out, get my own lunch and stuff for work packed, dress myself and go running out the door 15 minutes late. With work and my 45 minute each way commute, I pick up the baby and get home around 5:30. I try to get a snack and spend some time quality with the munchkin until Frank gets home and then usually run around preparing dinner for me and Frank and the baby, feeding the baby and myself, cleaning up from dinner and washing up bottles and whatnot to get ready for the next day. Then it's tubby time, bedtime stories and nursing the baby to sleep. By the time that's all finished it's usually 8-8:30 PM and the last thing in the entire world I want to do is fire up the treadmill. Usually I'm asleep myself by no later than 9:30, and I try to use that little time for reading, writing or occasionally just chilling on the couch and watching some TV and spending time with my husband.
So that's my life four days per week. Does anyone see any ideas in there for getting a work out? Or should I just commit myself to getting a workout done on the weekends and Wednesdays and hope that that's enough? I'm loathe to give up any sleep time (since I'm still doing feedings at least twice per night) or any time the precious little time I get with her during days I work. It's so frustrating to want to do something but just not have the time in the day!
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Monday, September 26, 2011
Cold Turkey
I always hate it when people say, regarding their food addiction, "well, it's not like alcohol or drugs -- you need food to survive!"
Yes, humans need FOOD to survive, but I don't think "food" includes cookies or brownies or muffins or cake. Which is why I decided that it's time for me to give this stuff up, at least for a while. The challenge I'm setting forth for myself, starting today, is no sweets until Thanksgiving. I just need to break my sugar cravings and I think just stopping completely is the only thing that's going to do it.
Of course, there's all those grey areas -- is sugar in my coffee sweets? Are my organic Maple & Pecan granola bars with flax sweets? For now, I'm going to allow these things with the intention that they too will be weaned out. Effective immediately will be all those things listed above, all of which I indulge in way too much.
I might make a possible pre-meditated exception for a pumpkin chocolate chip cookie, just because it's that time of year, but that's only if I don't slip up before then.
Yes, humans need FOOD to survive, but I don't think "food" includes cookies or brownies or muffins or cake. Which is why I decided that it's time for me to give this stuff up, at least for a while. The challenge I'm setting forth for myself, starting today, is no sweets until Thanksgiving. I just need to break my sugar cravings and I think just stopping completely is the only thing that's going to do it.
Of course, there's all those grey areas -- is sugar in my coffee sweets? Are my organic Maple & Pecan granola bars with flax sweets? For now, I'm going to allow these things with the intention that they too will be weaned out. Effective immediately will be all those things listed above, all of which I indulge in way too much.
I might make a possible pre-meditated exception for a pumpkin chocolate chip cookie, just because it's that time of year, but that's only if I don't slip up before then.
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Diet
I feel like the blog has been focused on writing a lot, so I thought I'd made a post about the other half of this blog's inspiration -- health.
Lately, I've been making a real effort to squeeze in time for the things that I love, i.e., writing and reading. And at the same time, I've been making excuse after excuse when it comes to health and fitness: I'm still nursing so I can't diet. That doesn't, however, mean that I need to eat everything I see. I can't take my walks at lunch time, which was always my preferred exercise, since I'm pumping -- but that doesn't mean that I have to give up all physical activity. I'll swear I'm giving up all sweets and processed foods after [The Annual Clam Steam/Nick and Melissa's Wedding/The Garlic Festival/et cetera ad nauseum]. I need to freaking STOP lying to myself and make some real commitments.
We all know that it comes down to diet and exercise. Which one is more important is something that I see debated frequently, but personally, I feel like diet is going to be the angle that's easier for me to tackle at this point in my life, although I'd like to have a game plan for both. I think I'll dedicate this blog to diet and then later this week talk about exercise.
So. What I'd like to be eating:
Breakfast:
My morning smoothie (non-fat yogurt, skim milk, a banana, frozen raspberries and flax seeds)
Healthy cereals with skim milk (making sure to exercise portion control)
Oatmeal with raspberries and raw honey
Homemade Granola with skim milk or non-fat yogurt
Fruit
Eggs, turkey bacon and whole grain toast with Burmmel and Brown.
LESS: muffins, second helpings of cereal, morning sweet tooth fixes, Dunkin Donuts
Lunch:
Healthy Leftovers
Amy's Organic Burritos
Broth-based low-sodium Soups
Kashi Frozen Entrees
Salads with protein
LESS: Processed frozen entrees, fast food, lunching in downtown Albany
Snacks:
Nuts
Fresh Fruits
Cut up Veggies
String Cheese
Hard Boiled Eggs
Air-Popped Popcorn
LESS: processed snacks, sweets, carby crap
Dinner:
Home-cooked healthy meals with whole grains, lean proteins and lots of veggies, especially ones that I can make big batches of for lunches and leftovers.
Less: Take-out, processed frozen dinners, seconds.
On the surface, this looks deceptively easy. I love all the things that I should be eating! I know they fill me and make me feel good. I have two big problems that I need to figure out solutions to:
1. Since grade school, I have a time of day that I have serious binging issues -- the "After School" period, from when I get home from work until dinner time, I feel like my stomach is a cavernous pit that cannot be satiated. Oftentimes by the time I am done snacking during that period, I'm too full for dinner, but since I cook for Frank, I usually wind up eating with him anyway because I feel guilty. How can I stop wanting to eat everything in sight when I get home from work?
2. I feel like, while all the food I listed is delicious and good for me, I'm missing something. Specifically after lunch, I get cravings for something sweet and/or carby like cookies or pretzels. What can I eat to fulfill these cravings while still staying on track? Or should I try to hold out and kill the cravings?
Let me know if you have any suggestions for solutions to my problems or any good dinner recipes to share!
Lately, I've been making a real effort to squeeze in time for the things that I love, i.e., writing and reading. And at the same time, I've been making excuse after excuse when it comes to health and fitness: I'm still nursing so I can't diet. That doesn't, however, mean that I need to eat everything I see. I can't take my walks at lunch time, which was always my preferred exercise, since I'm pumping -- but that doesn't mean that I have to give up all physical activity. I'll swear I'm giving up all sweets and processed foods after [The Annual Clam Steam/Nick and Melissa's Wedding/The Garlic Festival/et cetera ad nauseum]. I need to freaking STOP lying to myself and make some real commitments.
We all know that it comes down to diet and exercise. Which one is more important is something that I see debated frequently, but personally, I feel like diet is going to be the angle that's easier for me to tackle at this point in my life, although I'd like to have a game plan for both. I think I'll dedicate this blog to diet and then later this week talk about exercise.
So. What I'd like to be eating:
Breakfast:
My morning smoothie (non-fat yogurt, skim milk, a banana, frozen raspberries and flax seeds)
Healthy cereals with skim milk (making sure to exercise portion control)
Oatmeal with raspberries and raw honey
Homemade Granola with skim milk or non-fat yogurt
Fruit
Eggs, turkey bacon and whole grain toast with Burmmel and Brown.
LESS: muffins, second helpings of cereal, morning sweet tooth fixes, Dunkin Donuts
Lunch:
Healthy Leftovers
Amy's Organic Burritos
Broth-based low-sodium Soups
Kashi Frozen Entrees
Salads with protein
LESS: Processed frozen entrees, fast food, lunching in downtown Albany
Snacks:
Nuts
Fresh Fruits
Cut up Veggies
String Cheese
Hard Boiled Eggs
Air-Popped Popcorn
LESS: processed snacks, sweets, carby crap
Dinner:
Home-cooked healthy meals with whole grains, lean proteins and lots of veggies, especially ones that I can make big batches of for lunches and leftovers.
Less: Take-out, processed frozen dinners, seconds.
On the surface, this looks deceptively easy. I love all the things that I should be eating! I know they fill me and make me feel good. I have two big problems that I need to figure out solutions to:
1. Since grade school, I have a time of day that I have serious binging issues -- the "After School" period, from when I get home from work until dinner time, I feel like my stomach is a cavernous pit that cannot be satiated. Oftentimes by the time I am done snacking during that period, I'm too full for dinner, but since I cook for Frank, I usually wind up eating with him anyway because I feel guilty. How can I stop wanting to eat everything in sight when I get home from work?
2. I feel like, while all the food I listed is delicious and good for me, I'm missing something. Specifically after lunch, I get cravings for something sweet and/or carby like cookies or pretzels. What can I eat to fulfill these cravings while still staying on track? Or should I try to hold out and kill the cravings?
Let me know if you have any suggestions for solutions to my problems or any good dinner recipes to share!
Friday, September 2, 2011
Deadlines
They're so motivating. Especially when you miss one. Oops.
I've always done most of the work of writing in my head, which is helpful when you have little time to actually sit down and write, but as we've already established "Only Writing Counts As Writing," so before I knew it, it was September first and not a word of the moody vignette I had been mentally crafting had actually made it onto paper.
So last night, after a rather up tempo rendition of Goodnight Moon I settled down and banged out 500 words in about half an hour. Actually, it was probably closer to 1000 words originally, but I went back and made myself cut a lot of the chaff. While this did give me a lot of hope that I'll actually be able to do NaNoWriMo this year, it was also nice not to be working toward a word count.
I quickly got as far as I had made it with the "mental writing" and against my better judgement decided to quit for the night because I had a book calling my name from the bedroom. But tonight I'm going to hope for another smooth easy bedtime so that I can finish up the piece and submit it to the writing group only two days past our deadline. Maybe even early enough to get in a couple more chapters of my book.
I've always done most of the work of writing in my head, which is helpful when you have little time to actually sit down and write, but as we've already established "Only Writing Counts As Writing," so before I knew it, it was September first and not a word of the moody vignette I had been mentally crafting had actually made it onto paper.
So last night, after a rather up tempo rendition of Goodnight Moon I settled down and banged out 500 words in about half an hour. Actually, it was probably closer to 1000 words originally, but I went back and made myself cut a lot of the chaff. While this did give me a lot of hope that I'll actually be able to do NaNoWriMo this year, it was also nice not to be working toward a word count.
I quickly got as far as I had made it with the "mental writing" and against my better judgement decided to quit for the night because I had a book calling my name from the bedroom. But tonight I'm going to hope for another smooth easy bedtime so that I can finish up the piece and submit it to the writing group only two days past our deadline. Maybe even early enough to get in a couple more chapters of my book.
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Progress
Well, even if I haven't had time to update my blog this week, I've spent at least a little time writing. The baby took an exceptionally long nap on Sunday and I was able to duck into my office and bang out 1700 words before she woke up.
It wasn't an official project -- in fact, it seems a little silly, but I've been trying since she was about four weeks old to get down the story of my labor and delivery in as much excruciating detail as I can bear to recall. In the course of trying to cram in every detail, I've been surprised at how much I do remember when I put my mind to it and how much I came close to forgetting. I'm constantly going back and adding some little detail or adjusting the time-line. So even though it isn't anything that I'll likely share, I was very happy to have the chance to get some work done on it. Maybe someday the bambino will decide she wants to read it, after which she will likely decide that she never wants to have children. And I haven't even gotten to the part where I was yelling at Frank about how all I had really wanted was another dog, so why the hell was I doing all the work? Amazing how your hormones try to make you forget all that once you have a smiley, giggly little 6-month old.
I'm hoping that I'll be able to either wrap that project up soon or else I'll have to set it aside, because I have another deadline coming up. My friend went ahead and set up that writer's workshop I had mentioned in the last blog, and we've agreed to submit work on the first of each month. Gosh, that's coming up awfully fast already. Luckily, there's no hard and fast length requirement, and it's not like if I'm a day or two late I'll be kicked out, but it's amazing how that simple deadline can help with motivation. Now I just have to decide which of the ideas bubbling around in my mind that I want to pluck out and set to paper.
As for the healthy living end of things ... well, there's not a whole lot to report there. I do have some thoughts, but they'll have to wait for another blog. The pump calls.
It wasn't an official project -- in fact, it seems a little silly, but I've been trying since she was about four weeks old to get down the story of my labor and delivery in as much excruciating detail as I can bear to recall. In the course of trying to cram in every detail, I've been surprised at how much I do remember when I put my mind to it and how much I came close to forgetting. I'm constantly going back and adding some little detail or adjusting the time-line. So even though it isn't anything that I'll likely share, I was very happy to have the chance to get some work done on it. Maybe someday the bambino will decide she wants to read it, after which she will likely decide that she never wants to have children. And I haven't even gotten to the part where I was yelling at Frank about how all I had really wanted was another dog, so why the hell was I doing all the work? Amazing how your hormones try to make you forget all that once you have a smiley, giggly little 6-month old.
I'm hoping that I'll be able to either wrap that project up soon or else I'll have to set it aside, because I have another deadline coming up. My friend went ahead and set up that writer's workshop I had mentioned in the last blog, and we've agreed to submit work on the first of each month. Gosh, that's coming up awfully fast already. Luckily, there's no hard and fast length requirement, and it's not like if I'm a day or two late I'll be kicked out, but it's amazing how that simple deadline can help with motivation. Now I just have to decide which of the ideas bubbling around in my mind that I want to pluck out and set to paper.
As for the healthy living end of things ... well, there's not a whole lot to report there. I do have some thoughts, but they'll have to wait for another blog. The pump calls.
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Update: The Nobodies Album
I was reading over my old blogs and realized that I never updated regarding The Nobodies Album writing contest that Frank encouraged me to enter last summer.
I won! I won the Grand Prize!
Granted, there didn't wind up being a large pool of entries, definitely under twenty since it was a limited contest, but nonetheless the publisher chose my entry for the grand prize. So I am now the proud owner of a Bose iPod Sound Dock. It's not something I ever would have bought for myself, but the sound quality is amazing. More than anything though, I see it as some sort of confirmation that I *am* a good writer and I need to push myself harder. Because the truth is, there are thousands of excellent writers out there. Many I'm sure have skills far superior to mine -- but as long as I'm writing and they're not, I'll be the better writer.
As I clearly illustrated with my 11th hour story entry, goals and deadlines are a writer's best friend. Ever since I decided to recommit to my writing, I've been thinking over different ways that I can keep myself motivated. Crazy as it sounds, I do want to attempt NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) again this year after skipping it in 2010, but that's not until November. I do have a neglected writing journal and belonged to an online writing competition that I could try to revive, but I think I might need to ease myself in a little bit before I give myself a weekly deadline. A friend and fellow writer has suggested starting a casual writing group to exchange our work once a month or so. It sounds like a great idea ... but is it normal that I'm still terrified to share my work?
Writing is so unique in that you are in a complete private vacuum while you're creating and then you're expected to just throw it out into the world and hope it can stand on its own. Just a couple of months ago I thought it would be motivating to let my cousin, who is like a sister to me, read my draft of At Setting and the second I sent it to her I started having a massive panic attack. I think I emailed her about five times almost pleading justifications for the imperfections in the draft. When she was done, she said she liked it and wanted to read more, but my nerves were to shot to probe her for much more of a reaction.
I guess the only way to get over that crippling fear is to just make myself do it. After all, isn't the goal to have as many people hear your story as possible?
I won! I won the Grand Prize!
Granted, there didn't wind up being a large pool of entries, definitely under twenty since it was a limited contest, but nonetheless the publisher chose my entry for the grand prize. So I am now the proud owner of a Bose iPod Sound Dock. It's not something I ever would have bought for myself, but the sound quality is amazing. More than anything though, I see it as some sort of confirmation that I *am* a good writer and I need to push myself harder. Because the truth is, there are thousands of excellent writers out there. Many I'm sure have skills far superior to mine -- but as long as I'm writing and they're not, I'll be the better writer.
As I clearly illustrated with my 11th hour story entry, goals and deadlines are a writer's best friend. Ever since I decided to recommit to my writing, I've been thinking over different ways that I can keep myself motivated. Crazy as it sounds, I do want to attempt NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) again this year after skipping it in 2010, but that's not until November. I do have a neglected writing journal and belonged to an online writing competition that I could try to revive, but I think I might need to ease myself in a little bit before I give myself a weekly deadline. A friend and fellow writer has suggested starting a casual writing group to exchange our work once a month or so. It sounds like a great idea ... but is it normal that I'm still terrified to share my work?
Writing is so unique in that you are in a complete private vacuum while you're creating and then you're expected to just throw it out into the world and hope it can stand on its own. Just a couple of months ago I thought it would be motivating to let my cousin, who is like a sister to me, read my draft of At Setting and the second I sent it to her I started having a massive panic attack. I think I emailed her about five times almost pleading justifications for the imperfections in the draft. When she was done, she said she liked it and wanted to read more, but my nerves were to shot to probe her for much more of a reaction.
I guess the only way to get over that crippling fear is to just make myself do it. After all, isn't the goal to have as many people hear your story as possible?
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
There and Back Again
I remember reading an article with a list of tips for blog writing. Number one was: Never start off by mentioning how long it's been since you last post. I've stuck to that until now, but I feel like over a year of absence warrants some kind of explanation.
On June 6, 2010 I found out that I was pregnant. Since then, the world as I knew it has been shattered apart and put back together, with many priorities landing in different places -- some more surprising than others. Sadly, my two biggest priorities when it comes to this blog have been shoved pretty firmly to the bottom of the list. I'm hoping that than can begin to change now.
I've learned in the last 24 weeks that when it comes to being a parent, time is the greatest commodity. You're either waiting it out, battling against it and you're always longing for more. Time is what I need to meet my goals, and it's what I'm fighting for, starting today.
Given that I'm nursing, my options for health and fitness are limited, but in this case limited is far from non-existent. I can still make as many healthy eating options as possible and try to squeeze in exercise -- whether it's taking the stairs, parking farther away, or strapping the baby on for an early morning walk -- whenever I can. The most important thing is to not lose sight of my goals. They seem farther away now than ever, but this is not a race. I have the rest of my life to work toward them, and the goals of healthful living will never really be met, they'll only change and grow with me. I'm looking forward to the challenege!
"Writers write. Period." -- I remember reading this as the tag line of someone's blog a couple of years ago, and it's stayed with me. The statement is deceptively simple, and utterly true. Even if it's twenty minutes twice a week, even if it's from my smart phone in carpool, even if it's in my head while I'm changing the baby, I'm a writer and I must be writing. Right now, my goal is just to start carving out a little time to myself whenever I can and be constantly choosing action over apathy, something I battle in all aspects of my life.
And yes, it's been a while ... but I hope that you'll be seeing more of me from now on!
On June 6, 2010 I found out that I was pregnant. Since then, the world as I knew it has been shattered apart and put back together, with many priorities landing in different places -- some more surprising than others. Sadly, my two biggest priorities when it comes to this blog have been shoved pretty firmly to the bottom of the list. I'm hoping that than can begin to change now.
I've learned in the last 24 weeks that when it comes to being a parent, time is the greatest commodity. You're either waiting it out, battling against it and you're always longing for more. Time is what I need to meet my goals, and it's what I'm fighting for, starting today.
Given that I'm nursing, my options for health and fitness are limited, but in this case limited is far from non-existent. I can still make as many healthy eating options as possible and try to squeeze in exercise -- whether it's taking the stairs, parking farther away, or strapping the baby on for an early morning walk -- whenever I can. The most important thing is to not lose sight of my goals. They seem farther away now than ever, but this is not a race. I have the rest of my life to work toward them, and the goals of healthful living will never really be met, they'll only change and grow with me. I'm looking forward to the challenege!
"Writers write. Period." -- I remember reading this as the tag line of someone's blog a couple of years ago, and it's stayed with me. The statement is deceptively simple, and utterly true. Even if it's twenty minutes twice a week, even if it's from my smart phone in carpool, even if it's in my head while I'm changing the baby, I'm a writer and I must be writing. Right now, my goal is just to start carving out a little time to myself whenever I can and be constantly choosing action over apathy, something I battle in all aspects of my life.
And yes, it's been a while ... but I hope that you'll be seeing more of me from now on!
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